


Keep Me Awake

by eternitywrites



Series: Tumblr DMMd Fic Requests [2]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Biting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Foreign Language, Gore, M/M, Scratching, Self Harm, Switching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-19
Updated: 2014-01-19
Packaged: 2018-01-09 07:36:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1143278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternitywrites/pseuds/eternitywrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even if the present is amazing, Noiz learns that the past sometimes has a way of rising up and coming back to haunt him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep Me Awake

**Author's Note:**

> [still-waiting-for-godot](http://still-waiting-for-godot.tumblr.com/) requested Aoba topping the bachelor of my choice. Naturally, I chose Noiz, because I feel it's my sworn duty to contribute to the NoiAo where Aoba tops. End notes have the translations!

Noiz stumbled into his apartment, smacking the light switch on and smearing blood all over it.

“Danger! Danger!” One of his Usagimodoki zipped around him, making a racket of electronic sounds. “Noiz needs medical attention immediately!”

“It’s fine.” He grabbed it out of the air just to get it out of his face, but it continued to vibrate in his palm and beep as if to spite him. Sometimes his Allmates kicked up such a fuss over pointless things, no matter how many times he readjusted their settings. It was one of the few things he didn’t understand about them.

He carved an unsteady path to his tiny bathroom, the various knife cuts all over his body leaving scarlet drops on the floor. His left knee felt…well, he didn’t really know how to describe it. Not normal, he guessed. It brought back memories of a long flight of stairs rushing out from under his feet. The Rib leader had really tried to do a number on him during their teams’ little backstreet altercation.

And it had been nowhere near enough.

Not enough. That was the only thought in his head when he turned on the bathroom lights and examined his reflection in the mirror above the sink. Swollen cheek, a steadily blackening eye, blood rolling down both nostrils, and he could have been wearing stage make-up for all the good it did him.

So he felt nothing. Not a damn thing. Same old, same old. After nineteen years, he should have been used to such a result.

But not tonight.

He sat on the lid of his toilet and pulled an arm sleeve up, exposing a particularly deep gash that extended down most of his forearm. That was bad, wasn’t it? He probably needed stitches. Hell, he probably needed a visit to the hospital. Yet, here he was, sitting in his bathroom, the numerous wounds he had worked so hard to acquire little more than irritants. He couldn’t even bring himself to imagine what they actually felt like. It would just be another reminder that pain in his tongue occurred all too rarely and that pain on the Rhyme field was nothing more than a washed out approximation of the real thing.

A monstrous black hole opened in the depths of his stomach and spiraled outward, threatening to eat him from the inside out as he stared at his torn arm. It really was deep. Definitely a cause for concern. He set the fingers of his other hand to it and pressed in. Blood welled up around his nails.

The cubes at his waist began to shake on their chains. “Noiz! Noiz, no!”

He heard them, but he no longer cared to heed their advice. With a little laugh at the pressure, he thrust his fingers deeper into the cut and widened it. Still nothing. Nothing at all.

“Noiz!” The Usagimodoki were screaming, now. “Noiz, please! Stop hurting yourself!”

“What are you talking about?” That ravenous pit in his body grew, hollowing him out until it was the only thing left inside of him, until it consumed his very thoughts. He closed his hand into a fist and pulled it down, tearing a wide strip out of the skin of his forearm. Like ripping paper. “It doesn’t hurt. It never will.”

Hunched over, laughing louder and louder, he tore and scratched and raked at his arm. Skin began to hang from it in bloody curtains that stained his pants with sticky, dark fluid. His fingertips would hit bone every so often, flashes of white against the red mass of meat that had become of his limb.

His laughter didn’t stop, it simply mingled with the tears pouring from his eyes and the bile that rose in his throat and suffocated him. Why was he doing this? Why was _this_ the length he had to go to just for confirmation that he was anywhere near human like everyone else?

And why was it still nowhere near enough?

It seemed there was no end to the flesh he had dug his fingers into. Wet, squelching sounds filled the bathroom as he continued to mangle himself past recognition, an accompaniment to the terrified pleading of his Allmates.

“Noiz! Noiz, please, stop!” They sounded like weeping children. “Noiz, you need to stop!”

He began to rock back and forth, cradling his the ruined remnants of his arm, the entirety of his vision blotched crimson. “No. No, I can’t. I’m too tired. I'm so, so tired. I'm tired. I'm tired...”

“Please! Dammit, Noiz, you need to _wake up!”_

Noiz opened his eyes and sat up so fast he smashed his head straight into Aoba’s.

_“Fuck!”_

They had both shouted it at the same time. Noiz pitched forward, his eyes watering with the pain that cracked all around his skull. Aoba had fallen onto his back, hands over his forehead. Noiz could feel the weight of him on his legs as he shifted and groaned.

“I think I have a concussion,” Aoba mumbled.

“Are — are you alright?” Noiz asked, wincing and trying to blink the white spots out of his eyes.

Aoba froze, then launched back up with a gasp. “I should be asking you that!”

It took a moment for Noiz to understand what Aoba meant. The headbutt had dislodged the entire dream from his mind, but it was quick to come back to him in a vicious rush, every detail vivid in clarity.

He swallowed hard. It might as well have been a memory rather than a nightmare.

“You were scratching the shit out of yourself.” Aoba grabbed his wrist and held it up for Noiz to see. Angry pink marks lined his forearm, some peppered with the tiniest drops of blood. “I was arm-wrestling you for, like, five minutes before you woke up!”

Noiz stared at Aoba in silence, taking in his furrowed brow and the tight, downturn twist of his mouth. His fingers at his wrist were firm. Real. Everything about Aoba felt real.

Then again, so had that dream. All those mocking, numbed out sensations, the gaping maw that had swallowed him whole on his darker nights…he knew such things as well as he knew Aoba.

His eyes went back to his arm, and without warning he pulled it out of Aoba’s hands and sank his teeth into it just below the wrist. The coppery taste splashing across his tongue meant nothing to him, but the flicker of pain did. Good. It was sharp and thin, something that would fade quickly compared to the heavy thrumming lingering in his head.

Aoba yelped. “No! Noiz, let go!”

It was his frightened expression that finally had him slowly releasing his arm from his mouth. Aoba held it and moved it closer to the weak light of their bedside lamp, hissing in sympathy when the marks became clearer.

“I’m going to get some rubbing alcohol and bandages for this. Stay here, I’ll be right back. Okay?”

Noiz nearly refused. He needed Aoba in his arms, for his solidity to anchor him back down to reality.

Aoba held each side of his face and brought him so close their noses nearly touched.

“Okay?” he repeated. And Noiz knew that if he said otherwise, Aoba wouldn’t go.

Though the intensity and strange colors of his eyes captivated him, Noiz still looked away and nodded.

“Okay.”

Aoba pulled away and climbed out of bed, the quiet sigh he had exhaled before leaving brushing against Noiz’s lips like a goodbye kiss.

Noiz kept his head bowed while Aoba rummaged around in their bathroom. The rational part of his mind was already hard at work. What was a nightmare but bits of meaningless thought and memory stirred into a stream of visual nonsense? Nothing that was worth being affected over.

Unfortunately, the rest of him didn’t agree. His heart throbbed hard against his ribcage and he really wanted to follow Aoba into the bathroom and embrace him from behind, burying his face into the curve of Aoba’s neck until his dream faded away for good.

But he stayed where he was because Aoba said he would come back, and he didn’t want to scare him more than he already had.

Aoba was swift to return, a bottle of alcohol, bandages, and balls of cotton in his hands. He turned on the overhead light in the bedroom with his shoulder on his way to the bed, and they both squinted against the sudden onslaught of brightness.

“I’m glad I thought to pack my first aid kit before we moved here,” said Aoba as he set the supplies down on their nightstand and held his hand out to Noiz, looking expectant.

Instead of offering his injured arm, Noiz clutched Aoba’s loose nightshirt and pulled him onto the bed. After a brief flash of surprise crossed his face, Aoba gave him a small smile and allowed Noiz to maneuver his legs so that he straddled his lap.

“Is this good?” he asked, his voice gentle.

Noiz nodded again. It was easier to calm down with the lights on and Aoba so near, but he still didn’t trust himself to speak. Everything felt soft and fragile, like his surroundings would shatter if he made one wrong move. If this was a cruel continuation of his dream, he wanted to make it last.

Aoba took his arm and carefully rubbed a wet cotton ball over the shallow ring of teeth marks, the burning scent of rubbing alcohol surrounding them.

His arm twitched on reflex. “It stings,” he said at last.

“Too much?”

“No.”

Aoba moved from the bite mark to the scratches. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Noiz glanced at his face. Aoba seemed calm as he tended to the wounds, as though this was something that occurred between them every night, and his hair stuck up every which way. Noiz reached up and smoothed a few errant strands back down. It was feathery light against his fingers.

“Dreams aren’t real,” said Noiz, his voice quiet. “So it’s pointless to talk about them.”

“Even if they aren’t real, they can still bother you.” Aoba set the used cotton ball down and began unwrapping a bandage. “You look like you’re ready to quit sleeping for a year.”

Noiz didn’t know what to say to that, so he watched Aoba place the bandage over his bite in silence. After he was done, he brought Noiz’s hand to his mouth and kissed him deep in the cup of his palm.

“Noiz,” he murmured. “Do you really not want to talk about it?”

His lips against his palm were soft and ticklish. “Aoba?”

“Yes?”

He took a deep breath. “I want you to touch me.”

Aoba pulled back from Noiz’s palm, his brow creased again. “Is now the best time for that?”

“It is. Please.” An anxious spark had already ignited in his body, making his skin prickle. It was more of a need than a want. Aoba sitting on his lap and holding his hand was wonderful and warm, everything he had always wished for but never thought he would be able to experience.

But right now, it simply wasn’t enough.

“I’m worried about you,” Aoba said, linking their fingers together, and Noiz knew he wasn’t going to budge until he was assured nothing was wrong. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Don’t be worried. I’m fine. It was just a dream. I just had a dream that I was back in my old place in Midorijima, unable to feel anything. That’s it. It…surprised me, that’s all. Because it seemed too real and — ” He bit his lip. “Aoba, please touch me. I want to make sure that _this_ is what’s actually happening.”

A heavy silence followed the rush of his confession. Aoba stared at him, his lips pressed into a tight, concerned line.

“Alright,” he said at last, letting go of Noiz’s hand and taking off his shirt. Noiz’s fingers were drawn to his chest almost at once, but Aoba pulled out of his reach.

“You said you wanted _me_ to touch _you_ , right?”

“Yeah. I did.” Noiz dropped his hands, but his fingers felt too restless to go without Aoba’s skin completely, so he rested them on Aoba’s thighs. “Hurry. Please.”

“Be patient, kiddo. We have time.” He leaned in and slid his tongue inside Noiz’s mouth.

Noiz’s vision grew dim as he swirled his tongue against Aoba’s. The contact offered no relief for him. Instead, it shot currents of desperation through his nerves that had him panting roughly through his nose, turning his kisses into a sloppy mess that he knew Aoba had slight trouble keeping up with, but he couldn’t bring himself to ease his pace.

 _“Mehr,”_ said Noiz as Aoba leaned away for a breath. He was right there in a moment, sealing their mouths back together, loathe to let any space come between them. He wanted to drown himself in Aoba’s warmth. “Aoba, _gib mir mehr.”_

“Slow _down_ , Noiz.” His tone was calming and quiet, in complete contrast to the nails that pierced into his side and dragged down his waist. “I’m not going anywhere.”

 _“Ich weiß. Ich weiß, aber — ”_ He gasped at the burning trail the scratches left, his thoughts scattering. It was not a feeling he could have accurately imagined even in his wetter dreams.

“Again?”

_“Ja.”_

Aoba scooted back on Noiz’s lap, as far as he could without interrupting their kiss. This time, he used both hands and tore his nails down Noiz’s chest, harder than before. Noiz moaned into Aoba’s mouth, completely lost as Aoba’s nails seared over every inch of him. And every so often he would switch to a frustratingly light touch, his fingers dancing across previous scratches in a way that left them pulsing.

 _“Das fühlt sich so gut an.”_ Noiz finally broke their kiss and looked down at his body, his hips rolling at the sight of the flushed, raised marks all over his skin. Everything inside him ached so badly. _“So gut._ Aoba…”

Aoba scooted away until he was completely off of Noiz. “Lie down.”

Noiz hastened to obey. When he was flat on his back Aoba shifted himself between his legs, his face level with his torso. Noiz threaded his fingers in Aoba’s hair, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight of him slowly dropping damp kisses on his chest and stomach.

He shouted when Aoba sank his teeth into him.

Even though a part of him knew that Aoba held back from causing him real pain, to his oversensitive body it was nothing less than excruciating. He flinched and shuddered with every nibble and hard, wet pull of Aoba’s mouth. Fire slid through his veins at each touch, stirring him up until all he could do was gaze unseeingly at the ceiling, an incoherent string of sounds pouring from his mouth as he attempted to guide Aoba to the areas of his body where he needed him most.

However, while Aoba wasn’t hurting him as much as he desired, his teasing more than made up for it. Aoba refused to go where Noiz pushed his head. He took his time sucking along all of his scratches so that they throbbed keenly, and when he got to one of his nipples he used the lightest flicks of his tongue.

 _“Bitte,_ Aoba.” Noiz pressed Aoba’s head down, his body screaming for a rougher touch. _“Bitte, bitte!”_

Not only did Aoba press his teeth into the nipple at Noiz’s begging, his nails returned and tore down the length of the inside of Noiz’s thighs. Noiz’s back arched up, teeth clenched so tight his jaw ached as Aoba bit and rolled each of his nipples in his mouth in turns and dug his fingers into his thighs, overloading him with sensation.

Noiz almost grabbed him when Aoba rose from his body. He was panting and his face was bright pink, and Noiz could see a bulge through his underwear. Had he been in a more lucid state he would have had his mouth on it.

“Are you ready?” he asked Noiz, his expression serious and focused.

Noiz nodded and allowed Aoba to pull his boxers off his legs and toss them to the floor. His breath hitched when Aoba reached for their nightstand and pulled the tube of lubricant from the drawer, and while he spread a generous amount of gel over two of his fingers Noiz parted his legs wider to give him easier access.

“Just relax,” Aoba breathed, leaning in close and spreading Noiz’s ass apart before cautiously sliding one of his slick fingers in his entrance.

Noiz threw his arms around Aoba’s shoulders, his hips jumping up and forcing almost all of Aoba’s finger through at once. He groaned in ecstasy at the burning pressure that flared in him, but Aoba froze.

“What did I just say?” he hissed into his ear. _“Relax.”_

It was tempting to grind even more recklessly against the finger inside of him, but the last vestige of his mind that could still think clearly knew that Aoba was not above stopping in the middle of sex until he behaved himself. So he held still, whimpering as Aoba’s finger worked his muscles looser. And when one finger became two, he couldn’t control the deep, needy thrusts of his hips against them. It was almost too much to bear.

Aoba angled his head down and kissed Noiz again and again, slowly sliding his fingers out of him and giving his cock a few teasing pumps, smearing the precum that had been dripping out of the tip all over his shaft. He broke the kiss noisily, fumbling for the lubricant again as he pulled his own boxers down enough to free his erection. Noiz ran his fingers up the underside of it before Aoba shooed his hand away.

“Let me take care of this,” he said, slicking gel over himself with his fist. Noiz licked his lips and held the backs of his knees, pulling his legs up to his chest. He was so ready for him.

Aoba positioned himself over him again. Noiz trembled when the head of his cock slid over his hole before pressing inside, and Aoba gasped and squeezed his eyes shut.

“N-Noiz…ah!” His thrusts were slow and careful. Dizzy with pleasure, Noiz linked his ankles behind Aoba’s back and gripped his shoulders, forcing their bodies together.

 _“Härter!”_ He urged, kissing him frantically. _“Ich brauche es härter!”_

And this time, Aoba didn’t tell him to calm down. He pounded into him as he moaned, stroking Noiz’s cock in time with their movements. Noiz didn’t bother to hold back the white-hot energy building inside of him. He welcomed the impending release, rocking his body with mindless fervor as Aoba drove into him and called his name over and over again.

Noiz leaned up for more kisses, but what met his mouth were teeth. Aoba bit into his bottom lip and sucked on it, setting off an explosion inside of Noiz that destroyed every thought in his head as he came hard all over his stomach with a long, dazed groan. A few short, impatient thrusts later and Aoba climaxed with a wild cry, filling the inside of Noiz with wonderful heat.

Right before Aoba could move off of him to clean them up, as was his habit, Noiz pulled him down and hugged him tight, ignoring his fidgets and grumbling. Neither of them said anything for a long time as they listened to each other’s heartbeats even out.

“Hey, Noiz?”

“Yeah?”

Aoba lifted his head from Noiz’s chest. “This _is_ what’s actually happening,” he told him, voice soft. “I promise. When you wake up again you’re not going be alone without your senses. I’m going to be with you, and you’ll be able to feel me and everything else just fine.”

With the churning disquiet inside of him finally put to rest, Aoba’s words sounded so easy to believe. Noiz reached down and ran his fingers through his hair, not minding that the tendrils were damp with sweat.

“I know. Thank you. And…I want to apologize for scaring you.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Aoba shifted upward and kissed his forehead. “So long as you feel better.”

“I do.” Noiz smiled and cupped Aoba’s jaw, who briefly leaned into his touch with a happy hum.

“Good, I’m glad.” He glanced down at the mess between their bodies and made a face. “So, can I get some tissues, now, or…?”

“Mood killer.” Noiz rolled his eyes, but he lifted his arms and let a rather abashed Aoba climb off of him. And though the bed became a lot colder without him, he didn’t mind. Aoba was always quick to come back to him. It was a facet of his reality that he would never take for granted.

**Author's Note:**

> Translations:
> 
>  _“Mehr […] gib mir mehr.”_ \- “More […] give me more.”
> 
>  _“Ich weiß. Ich weiß, aber — ”_ \- “I know. I know, but — ”
> 
>  _“Ja.”_ \- “Yes.”
> 
>  _“Das fühlt sich so gut an […] So gut […]”_ \- “That feels so good […] So good […]”
> 
>  _“Bitte.”_ \- “Please.”
> 
>  _“Härter!” […] “Ich brauche es härter!”_ \- “Harder! […] I need it harder!”
> 
> Okay, so I don't know a lick of German. My only sources were what Google pulled up for me, but I checked between them to the best of my ability. Please, if you know some of these lines are off, don't hesitate to correct me!


End file.
